Getting burned out

So... I'm in a valley that has high sides all around it named frustration, anger, weariness, and fatigue. But I still have a love for the job that I have never known in any other career. I fought hard for this career. Very hard. And the station I am at is everything that you'd want. Good people who truly love each other, who work hard on every scene, & who go out together outside of work.

Now normally we have a good rotation between the engine and the rescue, but lately due to people on vacation, or whatever I have had many...MANY shifts on the rescue. And we've been getting beat on almost every shift. A couple of shifts ago we ran 23 calls in 24 hours. We only transported 3 and only 1 of those *needed* transport. I would love to do a PSA campaign on why you do/don't call 911. A lot of our territory is just so uneducated and view 911 as their personal taxi to use the ER as their primary care physician. I was brought up that you call 911 when you are DYING or close to it. NOT because you have a toothache, a headache for the last 6 hours, a stubbed toe, your kid has had a fever for the last hour, or your drunk. (Just to name a few)

Now, call me bitter, call me whining... this is my blog and I can vent all I want or need to. I understand that probably 85% of my job in my territory that I work is public education. But it never ceases to amaze me the craziness that plagues our 911 system. I've joked at the notion of recording via a pin-hole camera on my radio belt the patients we encounter in a day's work. And then broadcast a PSA. Maybe then our hospitals who are failing and bankrupt due to the overwhelming demand of non-paying patients could catch a break and get back up on their feet.

This last shift has been a little bit of a breaker for me. I've really needed these 2 days off to veg out. We ran a call for a vehicle accident with entrapment. Enroute it was a car into a house. We were the 2nd rescue in with everyone else already there. By the time we pulled up they had the roof cut off and was pulling the 1st patient out the back (our patient). 3 16-yr olds in the back, one DOA, 2 front passengers A/O x3 on the front lawn. Our pt was A/O x4. Multiple punctures, lacs, and possible broken leg. Enroute everything went unremarkable. Our pt was able to give me their name but that's it. When asked their age... "I dont know" My pt was collared/backboarded prior to us on scene and mind you this was 2am... but after arriving at the hospital and giving report... we found out she had a probable broken pelvis, GSW to the back of the head and internal bleeding. Come to find out later that the vehicle was shot at several times prior to crashing. And this is what is comes to.... teenagers (who in my opinon shouldn't have even been out at that hour) out having a good time... were executed in the back of the car. While not verifiable at this point, we believe the DOA on scene was probably shot in the head too.

I have to admit I cried most of the way home. Generally I'm able to leave work at work.... but the inundation of stupid... and I mean STUPID calls along with the senseless waste of life responses we've been getting is overwhelming. Most people get into Fire/EMS cause "they want to help people"... or .... "they want to make a difference". I'm doing neither. Maybe that's just what I need to accept. I love my job.... in its theory. I certainly love the family I have at work and the firefighting. And if the calls we ran, even if they were 23 in 24 hours were true 911 calls, I could run them all night long and not miss a beat.

But imagine if you will (for any of my non-EMS readers)... you come into work at 0600 and run calls (no problem)... and you finally catch lunch at 3:30pm after you've had diarrhea smeared on you, a drunk homeless person swearing at you.... then after missing dinner completely cause you're still running calls at 0300am.... a 24 yr old healthy woman calls 911 with 6 cars in the driveway cause her head hurts. She's taken 4 Tylenol over 2 days and done nothing else to relieve the pain except lay in bed and moan. Seriously?!?!?! You want an ambulance to cart you to the ER for a flippin headache?!?! Yes... she seriously does. Its very hard to sympathetic.

Ok.... my rant is over. I love my job and cant wait to see what I might encounter tomorrow. Hopefully something challenging. Maybe I will have an easier shift for a change.... maybe. Until then I will serve the citizens that pay my paycheck.